Dove's Fancy Shave Cream

Last fall, I went to one of the larger flea markets that tourists frequent around here and spoke to a gent from NYC, with a nice-looking girlfriend and a finely polished scalp. I said to him, "I know you didn't get that shine from an electric!" and had a nice conversation, but no sale. I didn't get it at the time, because he said he shaved with Dove. So I'm like, yeah, you can definitely shave more comfortably with this Stirling... what an idiot! I just assumed he meant the moisturizing bar. As in the view presented in the cosmetic scientist's blog from yesterday, many believe such products make fine shaving lather. Little did I know, Dove had a $25 traditional men's shaving cream! Introduced last January, Dove Men+Care Expert Shave finally trickled down to me this week, at Big Lots, for $2.50.

If you live near me, you better hurry your butt down there, because I'm about to wipe that shelf clean. Having used it, I'm struggling to understand the economic disaster that precipitated such a disgrace. I imagine it must have been offered only at the original price, without any brushes available, then discontinued by someone who was already averse to traditional shaving. I'll mark it up to $7, and give it on Christmas if nobody's smart enough to buy it at that price. I'm not even going to bother with the wholesale tax discount, or book it as inventory. What a steal!

I'd hoard it for myself if it weren't so... presentable, in its cellophane wrapped box, heavy, powder-finish plastic jar with mirror lid. I prefer rustic soaps and botanical products, which, don't get me wrong, this is definitely not. But I had already planned to make a croap out of KMF and VDH with an aquatic cologne, for a special treat or occasion, and this purchase just saved me the trouble. The smell most men would recognize as "lady magazine," is actually a pretty close match to another discount buy I made long ago, for a Johnston & Murphy cologne and aftershave balm (more pineapple in the latter). But I will definitely be scouting about for the other products in the Dove line, as part of today's shopping mission.

The lather was comparable to Stirling, in that some volume was sacrificed to quality, but in a different way. Stirling has the superior physical quality, and this has chemical superiority. You can see it in the slick that forms in the basin, thick like hot-sour soup with all the biological goodness. And oddly, no bits of hair floating, like it infused them with something to make them more dense, or treated them against boundary effects with special surfactants. Post shave feel is a draw, since physics and chemistry are equally responsible for skin damage.

I still don't have anything that will melt the hair, but it joins Stirling and KMF on the top shelf.