Finding the Other Half of the Scissors

As I was commenting the other day on /r/wicked_edge, learning to slide the razor was like finding the other half of a pair of scissors. It was hard not to notice my rating: "-1" supposedly indicates "inappropriate content." That was hardly even a metaphor, because it actually feels that way on your face. But let's explore the idea as if it were, shall we?

From that moment, it would be pretty clear that using half of the shears like a knife, against a cutting mat, is very inefficient. If we represent a perfect shave as a percentage on a performance scale, I'd say I went from 25% to 80%, by learning to slide. I stopped hurting myself, I looked pretty good -- but I still had to accept less than the closest shave, or else plenty of minor skin inflammation remained.

Of course, there are finer points in using scissors, from raggedy-edged kindergarten efforts, to miraculous slices across yards of Xmas wrap suspended in mid-air. And, if one wanted to stick with the cutting mat, they would probably get pretty good at cutting, too. That's how it was done in the old days of photo layout, I think, at the printers. But you'd have invested in an X-acto knife of some kind, at that point. It still wouldn't be the right use of scissors. And that's what I mean when I say, if you're not sliding the DE safety razor, you aren't shaving right.

Take your time with a straight, take your skin with a cartridge, if you want to. Say some folk coax 40% performance out of square stokes, in a case like mine. I used to get a full 10 shaves out of my Astras. Say you don't give a shit about your ample stratum corneum, or the minimal recycling load of an extra half a gram of steel, or whatever. Not everybody WANTS to know shit.

Those people drop out, or get an "F." Be cool: stay in school!