Eating and Drinking for a Better Shave

Though I am not rushing to publish a new "perfect shave" routine based on apple pectin, I have internalized enough minimalism from my closest blogging colleagues to recognize the potential for simplification. By eating a slowly digested soluble fiber snack before bed, one could hope to have softer stubble in the morning, and one less prep material to juggle, maybe more. So I'm going to hang out on this post for awhile, correlating things ingested at night to shaving results in the morning.

Aloe Juice

I bought this shelf-stable (preserved) jug from Wal-mart with a mind to make shaving pops, but there was so much of it that I just started drinking it occasionally, as part of my alkalization program. My stubble was very short and soft after drinking a cup before bed, and six hours of sleep. Skin was supple. I took the opportunity to prep with Humphreys, followed by pumpkin juice + potassium bicarbonate serum. The latter evoked a strong smell of carbamide on application, as if urea had permeated the skin along with any fiber. Of course, I had to follow that with Arko lather.

It should be noted that I had a late supper of a couple bologna Reuben sandwiches, which may have helped pollute my skin. Hair was softened, but the Super Speed wasn't quite as efficient -- expected from the skin rubberization effects of carbamide. Some tiny cracks in the stratum corneum were just visible, after balmng with moisturizer + Lilac Vegetal.

Oatmeal encourages eating the cereal at night, and apples, too. For better reasons than I, touting the digestive and metabolic impacts of fiber. I'm having trouble getting the habit going, though, still preferring Mounds et al., so I'll just have to report on shaving after breakfast. (Note to self: how many no-bake cookies does it take to soften one's beard?) It doesn't take long to feel the emollient effect hitting the skin, when you have dry, wiry stubble. I know the fiber has arrived before even putting the bowl down, so there is no doubt in my mind that the benefit is freely distributed through the body, and not restricted to the digestive tract. I wonder if having borderline hyperlipidemia draws it out, in the case of one who needs it, like myself.

I skipped WH entirely and used shaving oil, followed by pumpkin juice/KHCO3 serum. My new "scuttle" served a bonus comfort function by melting the pumpkin pop, when the bowls were reversed: footed plastic inside water-containing ceramic, fresh from the microwave.  There wasn't anything to wipe off my face, dry like a sponge, but I soaked it all in with cold water, then applied warm Arko, again inspired by a strong ammonia impression. (So, I guess it wasn't the Humphreys.)

Super Speed and worn Personna Platinum Chrome were more effective than in the preceding shave, though I had to lift the blade a little on WTG to correct against a little too much exfoliation. It seemed to me like there was a bias, where the breakfast-derived fiber seemed to soften skin more, without having time to really work the hair. But the shave was still right up there with the best: I have to press a little ATG to find a few stubs that weren't quite cut evenly. I conclude that the people who advise shaving immediately upon waking, without eating, are not oatmeal lovers.


A significant source of insoluble fiber only, I expected to be underwhelmed. My blade seemed to have reached the end of its life, gaining a bit too much traction on the skin. (Still enjoyably efficient, but lacking what slants have -- the large contact surface to balance that.) And missing some more of the flatter-lying stubs at the jaw corners, so seemingly, all attibutable to blade wear. On WTG, especially, the hair seemed to put up little resistance.

The carbamide smell remains a persistent clue. Today I put the pumpkin juice on separately, after the bicarbonate, keeping with the same shaving oil. Salt didn't raise the stink, it only rose with the juice. And the usual mixed serum doesn't stink until applied. So it's either the oil, or something in me (urea, most likely) releasing that ammonia. The serum is certainly not a gentle one to my skin, judging from the ocean sting. But I also found an effective soother for postshave: Witch Hazel, U.S.P., applied as splash.

Another fierce BBS shave... can't justify tossing the blade... will have to change the oil to learn more, I think.


The next bunch I bought finally ripened, so I had one for lunch, with the peel on, before an afternoon shave. I definitely felt the stubble, rolling out of bed for a halloween party at the local library, but I didn't look like a bum -- good mileage out of yesterday's close shave. Today's was even better feeling, but I can see it's a little more shallow. This is how a blade should behave, approaching the end of its life. Assuming I don't run out of apples, could be a couple more shaves in it. Prep was jojoba oil, then pumpkin juice/bicarb serum. The oil felt a little too thick for the purpose, but very protective.

This post seems to have struck a major chord: more views than ever! If you're waiting for a pumpkin gel recipe, forget it -- you'll have to come buy at at the flea market next year! But to replace "The Perfect Shave," I did write a Disquisition summarizing this chapter of the blog, and indeed, concluding the whole thing. While I may or may not have pointed out a valid space for product development, I honestly don't think shaving gets any better than this.

Health goals derived from this project are leading to new Marxist obsessions, too. I grew a SCOBY from store-bought kombucha, and have my own "booch" brewing on top of my furnace. New questions have been raised. Why do dermatophytes seem not to enjoy soluble fiber, while cellulose sustains fungi all over the world? How did the government record a case of acidosis caused by overingestion of an alkalizing substance? The rabbit hole has already got my ankle...

Oh, and the ammonia release was still strong, but less than yesterday, so changing the oil had some impact.

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