Beards Suck

Sorry, Santa!

I wasn't noticing any change in baseline comfort, once the itching passed. I was noticing a cheesy smell, despite lining well under my nose, regular washing and even fasting (not that I'm a sloppy eater). It wasn't bad looking, until it started getting a bit ahead of the hair on my head with respect to volume, due to scruffiness. So when my wife reminded me of a party coming up, that was it! Ripped it off with the 41c and a fairly dull Cloud blade, then shaved lightly with the Tech and a fresh Personna. I'm really determined not to overshave, expecting zero support from the skin, but I did graze bottom slightly in the trench around my chin with my first WTG pass. Nothing bleeding, nothing that won't heal well by tomorrow -- just enough to spoil the milky white.

About Fasting


Believe me: I'm no health nut. But ever since discovering the fermented tea beverage, kombucha, strange things have been happening. I do believe I pickled myself! Muscle tone and endurance improved; furthermore, I felt compelled to exercise. But then winter came, and I no longer had a good place to run... well, that, and running is f--ing brutal on someone carrying as much weight and as many years as me. I was starting to turn a corner, from "old man strength" to knotty old tree.

Then I hit upon this documentary,

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=t1b08X-GvRs

mentioning that after three days' fast (according to the Russians) one's body experiences an "acidosis crisis." Cool -- just the back-tracking I need! Even on the face of it, it makes perfect sense that not eating would be the alternative to exercise. Though kombucha is highly acidic, kind of a tea vinegar beer soda, metabolizing it leaves you alkalized. And I know firsthand, from the epithelial effects of baking soda in water, that this very well accounts for my excessive toughness.

Actually, the resonance goes all the way back to a preceding hobby, the high lime content of my local water making for excellent jelly and pickles. Excess sugar doubtless had a role in my condition -- I'm a fiend when it comes to sweets. Fasting is all about fixing that.

I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't have to wait three days for my muscles to relax, after I stopped eating. That was noticeable on the first day. Turns out, a lot of people just eat one meal a day for this reason, which they call "intermittent fasting." I was somewhere in between that and "water fasting," because I rewarded myself with a pint of kombucha (I'm guessing less than 50 calories) at the end of each day, but didn't eat for 5 days on end. I also allowed myself the traditional salt sustenance and appetite suppression of soup broth and coffee.

By now you should know, I'm always going to let intuition guide me over any advice, good or bad. Well, it is much more comfortable for me, to have nothing in your gut, than to be sending a large meal down the pipe, followed by a day of churning. My first day sucked the worst, by far. I was full of energy on the second day, working on glycogen stores in my liver. On the third day I learned I needed some potassium to balance as the sodium in my broth, and used it to get over some inflammation deep in the center of my head. Fourth day was merely (!) a mental challenge, as I had to take my family through the McDonald's drive-thru without partaking -- and my wife didn't eat hers for an hour, which was pure torture.

By the fifth day, I had it dicked. I've quit smoking and drinking before, after all. It was down to little pangs of temptation, the unguarded moment. But I'm not trying to quit eating altogether! Nor do I have any real problems, like the patients of the Siberian or German clinics on their 3-week program, under medical supervision. Five was plenty. Pancakes and bacon started my sixth day.

I wish I could send my wife to Germany. The medical establishment has its claws into her deep, with diabetes and cancer medicine. I say "metabolic syndrome" to our doctor regarding her and my chubby son, and get no reaction. We went to an endocrinologist for her diabetes, at my insistence. Nope, same shit: take pills, wait for the inevitable decline. We will "monitor."

Don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's one of those things you can only teach by example, and experiential learning does the rest. We used to do this in boarding school, which immunized me against modern medical ignorance. Just a couple of days, with juice. (I was skinny then.)

This time, I was just beginning to get acquainted with my appetite for salt, and from that, moving forward, I'll be benefitting from more soup and salad consumption, and morning coffee on the regular. There was more I could learn, and there's definitely more fat pad to lose from my belly, so it's something I certainly will try again, perhaps in the doldrums of February.

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