Pain: A Definitive Guide

Some of us have thinner skin than others, and as such can read the title of this post as both topic and conclusion. Shaving for me has been an object lesson in the folly of consumerism, reinforced by pain. On the other hand, shaving served as a gateway to general good health, as I picked up modern shaving's slack in mindfulness and concern. I mean, look around this blog. On the skin side of things, I've gone WAY beyond Method Shaving, yet somehow ended up in the same sort of wild Orient, by setting off in a globally opposite direction. No faith in producers, no commitment to technique, just grinding away, at the facts and my face, until nothing remained but the authentic elements of a good shave.

Come to think of it, wouldn't I be justified in stealing either of those would-be trademarks? Method shaving would then be akin to method acting, instead of some weird martial arts camp. I'd still be taking down hair like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, with the elemental power of mental electricity, along with other forces of nature. Oh, no, not "power" again! Yep, I'm stealing that, too; not for myself -- in the name of The People. I've already identified this blog as "Marxist" for search purposes, but really, we've got to get beyond the German Enlightenment if we want all of our faces to survive (the Merkur Futur). Okay, okay -- how about "Axiological Shaving"?

I guess there are some things a thesaurus cannot help, and only marketing will do. But I digress. Some of you are just congenitally numb. Thicker-skinned, softer-haired men truly, literally may not feel that losing the stratum corneum is a bad thing, and I have to respect that. I at least have to assume you're not numb and dumb. Hm... but I can be quite dumb when shaving, despite being sensitive and educated. I would expect the relatively fortunate to be even more so. My natural skepticism simply buys me the time required for stubborn persistence. "Existential Shaving?"

Yeah, I think that's probably it, and my roundabout reply to podcaster Rick DeWeese, who was feeling the purposelessness at the core of his podcast's being last week. Keep at it, man! Honest YouTuber Michael Freedberg (10:30) opined that everybody gets the sort of weeping irritation he displayed, on occasion, and I can't disagree, having overshaved my neck with Chaoying and Wilkinson Sword this morning. Of course, I would suggest changing blades and technique before going razor shopping, and argue that sliding strokes are magical. Where it rises to the level of moral hazard is a statement like Arief Wibowo's "Blades hurt your skin no matter how tender you use them." Innocently offered in the context of aftershaves and cologne, that would tend to be true, I imagine, as a casual statement of statistical fact.

But shaving need not hurt the skin. I believe it is within everyone's capability to avoid weepers and razor burn, even though I've had more of both than I care to think about. If you feel or even visually recognize harm in shaving, you can use your good sense to shave and even live better. Rage, rage against the dying of the statum corneum!

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